EDC Christian

Will I Ever Get Married?

“Will I Ever Get Married?”

The Emotional Well-Being of Singles (From the book: “How Do You Feel Today?”)

‘In Sunday school they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny, a child in the kindergarten class, seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam’s ribs. Later in the week, his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, “Johnny, what’s the matter?” Johnny said, “I don’t feel well, I think I’m having a wife.”’ (Ministry 127)

It is the dream of most boys and girls to be married one day. Children play “house” with their dolls, Legos, and other toys. Families where love, acceptance, and proper discipline are found are homes where this desire is nurtured, and how to be a good spouse is modeled and taught.

As children grow into their teens, their minds and bodies become increasingly aware of the opposite gender. Parents, please be sure to give instruction, and follow up with that instruction for healthy thinking concerning the goal of courting/dating (marriage), and how to remain pure.

Dr. Jim Schettler says: “It is better to wait and know it, than to date and blow it.” Dating is not just a pastime or entertainment proposition: emotions of the heart are not to be toyed or played around with. Date with intention. The goal of dating or courting is to determine if marriage is God’s intention for you and the other person.

Not everyone is called to be married. Paul challenges some of the believers in Corinth to give their lives solely to the Lord so that they could “attend upon the Lord without distraction.” The “Gift of Singleness” is found in I Corinthians 7. The Lord has equipped some people so well that they may not need a helpmeet, and their service to the Lord may be just as effective or more so because of their marital status. For example, there have been unmarried men who serve in mission fields where one cannot take a family. Verse 33 (I Cor. 7) states: “But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please his wife.” If you have a burning desire for marriage, ask the Lord to bring the person He for you into your life. 1 Corinthians 7:2 informs us: “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” It is better to get married than to “play house” with another adult and act like you are married. Many people are in sinful relationships today, when God is calling them to legitimize their relationship.

What are some qualities I should work on while waiting for marriage? This is a great question! In Genesis 24, we read about Isaac and Rebekah. Here are two people who desired to someday be married, but were not pushing or rushing to marriage. They were consistent to work on their personal and spiritual qualities that would later help their marriage.

Genesis 24:62-67 tells this marriage story. “And Isaac came from the way of the well Lahairoi; for he dwelt in the south country. And Isaac went out to meditate in the field at the eventide: and he lifted up his eyes, and saw, and, behold, the camels were coming. And Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac, she lighted off the camel. For she had said unto the servant, What man is this that walketh in the field to meet us? And the servant had said, It is my master: therefore she took a vail, and covered herself. And the servant told Isaac all things that he had done. And Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and took Rebekah, and she became his wife; and he loved her: and Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.”

As Isaac was waiting to be married, two main qualities stand out: Isaac was hard-working and was involved in healthy worship of the Lord. We can also discover qualities Rebekah possessed as a single person that later enabled her to be a good wife: Rebekah was considerate of others and she was modestly clothed. Let’s look at each of these qualities…

Hard Working. Some people work at their play, play at their work, worship their sleep, and sleep in their worship. Isaac was not like that. Isaac was in the fields working when he first saw the love of his life. He was consistent in the tasks of the family business in herding sheep and digging wells. He was not like the Prodigal Son who, in the New Testament, went and spent all he had on “riotous living.” Isaac was working, serving, and being faithful to his jobs and daily obligations.

Healthy Worship. Did you notice how Isaac was meditating in the evening? The word meditate involves musing and praying. As his thoughts were turned to the Lord, the Lord answered his prayer for a wife. While meditating, he heard some people traveling his way. He looked up from his moments with the Lord and saw his father’s servant coming back from the journey to search for a bride for Isaac. Abraham was encouraging Isaac to be married and sent this servant to find a bride of the same faith to be the wife of Isaac. Our custom today may be different, but the direction of whom to marry is not. By God’s grace, determine today to only date or marry a person who is a Christian actively growing and serving the Lord. Proverbs 18:22 encourages, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” This word find does not necessarily imply looking and searching, but rather to “come upon.” Some young people are so infatuated with the idea of a date or the prospect of getting married that they force an effort to “find” a spouse. It would be better to work on being who God wants you to be than to look for a person to marry. As you trust the Lord, He will bring that person into your life.

You don’t want to date just anyone – there should be more qualifications besides being the opposite gender. “One of the most famous naval battles of history was the Battles of Actium, fought September 2, 31 B.C., between the fleets of Mark Anthony and Cleopatra on one side, and the fleet of Octavian, afterward Augustus Ceasar, on the other. In the midst of the engagement, the war galley of Cleopatra withdrew from the battle, and the infatuated Anthony deserted his fleet to follow the Queen of the Nile. Thus, Anthony relinquished his great leadership for a vain woman.” (Encyclopedia of 15,000 Illustrations: Signs of the Times)

Isaac was actively working on his relationship with the Lord. Before texting, sending an e-mail, or calling that significant other you may be interested in, have you met with God? Make sure worshipping the Lord is at the top of your priority list. Had Isaac been a rebel to the Lord or run after a life of sin, the story would have been much different. Abraham had brought Isaac up to fear God and serve Him. You may or may not have a Christian family background, but you can determine to have a Christian family if the Lord gives you a spouse.

Consideration of Others. The first glimpse we get of Rebekah is a beautiful one. She is helping a total stranger by drawing water from the well. She not only gives water to Abraham’s servant Eliezer, but she also draws water and gives it to the camels. This is no small task! Camels drink a lot of water! She had a genuine servant’s heart to be so considerate of this man and his animals. (Read all of Genesis 24 to learn more of this story.) She went above and beyond what most people would have done.

Most people could grow in this area of consideration. Do you do just barely enough to get by, or do you go the extra mile to serve? This characteristic says much about your determination to succeed and what it would take you to quit. Some people fulfill the least expectation and then expect terrific results. Rebekah exceeded expectations yet did not expect anything in return for herself. After the servant Eliezer sees the Lord has blessed his journey and answered his prayers, he gives Rebekah earrings and bracelets. Nearly every girl loves receiving beautiful jewelry, and Rebekah was no different.

Later, Eliezer gives the family treasures and gifts, giving a sort of dowry to display his credibility and proving the groom Isaac was a hard worker and man of ability and substance. Showing wealth was not the goal, but proving that Isaac was prepared for marriage was important. Proverbs 24:27 elaborates on this: “Prepare thy work without, and make it fit for thyself in the field; and afterwards build thine house.” If a man cannot hold down a job, he may not be ready for marriage. If a girl does not know how to show consideration and service to others, she may not be ready for marriage.

Selfishness rooted in pride has destroyed many marriages. Rebekah was definitely not selfish but totally considerate of others. “Be the right one rather than looking for the right one.”

Modest Clothing. Before Isaac and Rebekah met, Rebekah covered her face with a veil. Even today, the wedding veil is a symbol of modesty. When she knew the man walking towards her was the man she was to marry, she covered herself up more. This would be a strange proposition to most people today. The world shouts to take clothes off, yet God says to show respect for yourself and your future spouse by remaining covered. Modest clothing and a spirit of purity are needed in our families, churches, and society today.

Rebekah was showing Isaac that she treasured their relationship and was looking forward to sharing a pure life with him. This action of covering also suggests that she was not one to flirt or take relationships lightly. I heard one young preacher say: “If you are not for sale, don’t advertise.” That is good advice, particularly for young women and their clothing choices. Respect yourself. Respect your future relationship. Isaac could trust Rebekah in marriage because she was trustworthy before they were married.

Has God called you to marriage? One day, He may bring your path across the path of another and show you that this is the one to marry. Until that day comes, work at being the Christian God wants you to be, developing these Godly characteristics in your life. Having these 4 characteristics will help you to have stable emotional well-being.

In my life, the Lord blessed the desire for marriage only after I stopped “looking” for a wife. When I buckled down to what the Lord had called me to, the Lord brought my wonderful wife into my life. Let Psalm 37:4 be true in your life: “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” Marriage is such an important God-given institution. It can make your life grand or make your life a disaster if entered into flippantly. Be patient, wait on the Lord, and seek His will.

The Calling of God on Your Life

The Calling of God on Your Life

Paul, called to be an apostle of Jesus Christ through the will of God… 1 Corinthians 1:1

“What am I supposed to do with my life?” is a question everyone will ask at some point in their life. The Lord can answer that question for you! Every Christian has a calling on their life. The Lord desires for each Christian to dedicate their life to serve Him. Romans 12:1-2 speak about this dedication. “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”

As we read the first verse of I Corinthians, we learn that Paul was called to be an Apostle. Apostles were eyewitnesses to the life of Jesus Christ on the earth. Paul met Jesus while he was on his way to persecute Christians in the town of Damascus. His name was Saul at the time, but when he met Jesus, his life was changed, his name was changed, and he then begins to serve the Lord Jesus Christ with his life, answering the call to be an apostle. Today, there are no eyewitnesses to the life of Christ, so there can be no apostles. However, you can be a disciple of Christ. You could become a pastor, missionary, evangelist, teacher, or a deacon. At some point this year, the Lord may show you His calling for your life. Have you found the will of God yet? All of us as believers are Disciples of Christ: The Lord calls Christians to be school teachers, engineers, mechanics, and airplane pilots. Kent Hughes tells the following missionary story:

“A missionary to Africa told the story of an elderly woman who was reached with the gospel. Though she was blind and could neither read nor write, she wanted to share her new found faith with others. She went to the missionary and asked for a copy of the Bible in French. When she got it, she asked the missionary to underline John 3:16 in red and mark the page it was on so she could find it. The missionary wanted to see what she would do, so one day he followed her. In the afternoon, just before school let out, she made her way to the front door. As the boys came out when school was dismissed, she would stop one and ask if he knew how to read French. When he said “Yes” she would ask him to read the verse that was marked in red. Then she would ask, “Do you know what this means?” and tell him about Christ. The missionary said that twenty-four of the school boys that lady led to the Lord became pastors.” All of us can serve God in some meaningful way!

In addition to everyday disciples, the Lord also calls preachers and missionaries. It could be at summer Bible camp. It could happen at mission conference, revival meeting, or church service – the Lord could show you His calling for your life. What will you do? Will you follow His will? Jonah, the Old Testament preacher to Nineveh, ran the other way when God showed him His calling for his life. Jonah did not want to preach at Nineveh. You don’t have to be like Jonah, be like Paul and answer the call to serve the Lord, fulfilling His will in His life. We may call this “Responding to the Call.” Pray about what the Lord will have you do with your life. Sports, entertainment, and other activities can be good, but they can also pull you away from the will of the Lord. A girlfriend or boyfriend, or a relationship can be good, but make sure you respond to God’s call first. Making money and holding down a job can be fine, but make sure that you respond to God’s call to serve Him in whatever service is His will for your life.

Another important part of God’s calling on our lives is Recognition of God’s Call to Ministry. The Bibles says in I Timothy 1:12, “And I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, who hath enabled me, for that he counted me faithful, putting me into the ministry…” After the Lord called Paul to Ministry, the calling was confirmed in Paul’s life by three things. They were the Word of God, the Spirit of God, and the People of God. Whenever the Lord calls people into ministry today, all three affirmations are still needed. I have met people that do now know how the Lord called them to serve in a particular way. I have also met Christians who say, they do not care about what other Christians say about their calling. Attitudes like this can be dangerous. There have been many cults and heretical teachings that develop with people reacting this way. If you feel called to “vocational ministry” check for these three:

The Word of God is the first way to know God’s call. Paul had a burning desire to “preach the Word.” He had a love for the Bible and an intense desire to see people saved and churches established. This calling of the Word never contradicts the Bible in method or practice and Paul met all the qualifications to enter into full-time vocational ministry. Be sure to read the Pastoral Epistles of 1 & 2 Timothy and Titus to see the Bible’s qualifications for ministers. Secondly, the Spirit of God is given to us to direct and guide us. Acts 1:8 tell us that the Holy Spirit empowers us to be witnesses. You may have a quiet spirit, but the Lord can embolden you and every Christian to tell others about Christ. The Spirit of God will direct those called to say “yes” to the call. Finally, there are the People of God. I have known some believers that want to enter full-time ministry, but their church will not recognize them as a pastor or missionary. Perhaps they have doctrinal error they hold to. Perhaps their personality choices come across brash or unkind. Maybe they are gossipers or rebellious to authority. Perhaps they have not yet received proper ministry training. A Bible based church would not recognize a call unless these matters are cleared up. The people of God recognize and re-affirm God’s call on a Bible qualified candidate for ministry, who is Spirit led and Spirit filled. This can be done in an Ordination service. If you ever have the chance to attend an Ordination Council and service, I hope that you take advantage of that. You will learn much Bible doctrine if you attend, and you will also see the recognition of God’s people on a man for the Lord. It takes Paul about 8 years after his conversion to Christianity that we know him as the “Apostle Paul.” Consider this: In Acts 9 we find Paul meeting Christ and being saved. Galatians 1:17-18, Paul tells us what he did after being saved: “Neither went I up to Jerusalem to them which were apostles before me; but I went into Arabia, and returned again unto Damascus. Then after three years I went up to Jerusalem to see Peter, and abode with him fifteen days.” Paul took time away from everyone to meet with the Lord and to study. We look at this time as preparation for Gospel Ministry. He was a man who knew the Hebrew Bible better than most, and now he was going to be used of the Lord to preach and even write parts of the New Testament. (By the way, an important note to make for today is preparation for ministry. Bible College takes about four years. Teacher training takes at least four years.) Even with three years passing, some people still doubted Paul was for real. Some of the local church leaders still thought of Paul as “Saul the Persecutor.” With the help of Barnabas, church leaders start to see Paul as a servant of the Lord. In Acts 9:29-30, Barnabas introduces Paul to the church in Jerusalem. They listen to Paul, but are not ready to work with him yet. They send him to his hometown of Tarsus. Paul stays there for five more years after which Barnabas, who is preaching in Antioch, sends for Paul to have Paul help him minister the Word (Acts 11:25-26). It was while Paul started his ministry with Barnabas that the believers in Antioch were first called “Christians.” It took eight years for Paul to be recognized by others in the ministry. After this, we find Paul in active ministry: traveling, establishing churches, preaching messages, and sending letters to the churches.

Paul had the Word of God, the Spirit of God, and the People of God confirm the calling of God on his life. A life in ministry without these three affirmations will be difficult and will probably not last very long. Be patient, serve the Lord and grow in the opportunities that open up to you. Avoid forcing yourself into a position your pastor or other spiritual leaders know that you are not prepared for…yet.

If you are not called to ministry, that is OK too. Be sure that you support your church leaders and support those who are in vocational ministry. Your service in helping ministers is important! I heard Evangelist Byron Foxx say: “Every Christian should either be a preacher or be helping a preacher.” Those that are not preachers should be helping their preacher in advancing the Gospel.

Are you called to ministry? Do you have these three affirmations in your life? At this point in my life, I have been preaching for around 15 years. I remember the moments in my life when I saw these affirmations for ministry calling. I am like Paul in saying, that I am thankful the Lord has called me to ministry. Seek the will of the Lord, and God will show you His will. When He does show you, follow it with all of your heart!

Any Candy in Your Chocolate Box?

Any Candy in Your Chocolate Box?

Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.

Imagine a gushy eyed young man looking in the face of his beautiful bride to be. They are talking about how much they love one another and how wonderful life is with each other. As she is intently gazing into his eyes he suddenly presents a HUGE box of chocolates. This is the biggest box of Russell Stover chocolates that she has ever seen! She smiles in amazement at this gift as he had hands the box to her. She loves fine chocolate – what a thoughtful gift! A box this big must have cost a lot. She thought momentarily “He must really love me.” As her hands wrap around the box he says: “This was the best candy I have ever ate. Your favorite peanut crunchy pieces were so tasty.” She opens the box and it is empty! Her man had eaten all of the candy in the box.

Imagine a similar scene. The chocolate box is small, heart shaped, but it actually has candy in it. As the girl opens the box the rich aroma of fine chocolate touches her senses. She reaches in and enjoys a creamy taste of heaven and is appreciative of the thoughtful gift from her man. While there are only three pieces, these are pieces that they share together.

Which man is really showing love towards his bride to be? The one who gave box of chocolate that actually had candy in it.

Many times we say we “love someone” but they are empty words. The love we may really display is selfish love; loving ourselves rather than loving others. We are born selfish – it is called the sin nature. It is easy to choose to love yourself. It is something divine to show real love to other people.

Love is a tremendous choice that touches our emotions. Love is more than an emotion, feeling, or an expression. Love is giving to other people. Let’s open up the box of chocolate and discover what real love is.

Love is Comprised of Actions. In John 14:15 Jesus says “If ye love Me keep my commandments.” Action towards Christ is needed to demonstrate love for Him. The same is true in our relationships. If we love someone we will show actions of love toward them. Love could be taking out the garbage. Love could be sharing the last doughnut. Love could be making coffee early in the morning for your spouse. What are some actions can we do towards others that can show love?

Giving is a great place to start. In John 3:16 we find that “God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish but have everlasting life.” God’s Agape love toward us is a giving love. We could emulate the Lord and give of our time, talent, or even treasure to other people. From time spent with me, to golf clubs, and gift cards, and notes of encouragement, I have enjoyed the love of people giving to me.

Sharing is a tremendous way to show love. Jesus is the eternal God Who shares everlasting life and Heaven with those who trust Him for their salvation. Romans 5:8 tells us, But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. John 10:28 teaches, And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. Could you share time with others, share the blessings of your life with others? How about special moments or even making memories together?

Caring. The Lord cares for His people. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us, Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you. Here we discover God’s love is experienced in how He shows care for us. The word “careth” has to do with taking care, concern, and having an interest. One person said it well: “It matters to Him what matters to you.” The Lord is interested in our lives, thoughts, and emotions. We too can show love by showing an interest in other people. Listen to others. Learn what is going on in their lives. Know their favorite things to eat, activities to be a part of, and the cares they have in life.

Bearing. In a similar fashion as Caring, Galatians 6:2 instructs: “Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.” The law of Christ starts with loving God above all else. This law continues by loving thy neighbor as thyself. You can help a person through a tough time by “Feeling their pain.” What a blessing you can be in bearing a burden by helping them up. Perhaps a person feels rejected, you can help them. Maybe they feel all alone; you can let them know that they are not alone. Many people have difficulty formulating right thoughts and looking at situations in a Biblical way. They may be depressed or discouraged because of faulty thinking. You can help them think right, and bear their burden.

Love Is Active in Forgiving. Love covers sin according to Proverbs 10:12 states, “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.” This does not mean that justice should not be sought or that civil law should not be enforced. If someone is being hurt, that sin must be accounted for. This has to do with personal relationships and how you are looking at other people. Clark said of this verse: “Hatred stirreth up strifes—It seeks for occasions to provoke enmity. It delights in broils. On the contrary, love conciliates; removes aggravations; puts the best construction on every thing; and pours water, not oil, upon the flame.” Anyone can look for the wrong in a spouse, co-worker, or child. It is something we must decide to do everyday – forgive other people. Love is actively looking for ways to forgive and let that forgiveness be known.

Forgive With Your Mind. Hebrews 8:12 tells us about how God sees our sin as Christians, “For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.” Again in Hebrews 10:17 “And their sins and iniquities will I remember no more.” God knows everything, but He chooses not to think about some things! Following God’s example you will not thinking about their wrong, but looking on how to help them do right. We will not be fixated on a hurt, but focused on what is good about them. The Human mind is greater than the best computers. The human mind cannot forget. Even though we both forgot many things from 5 days ago or even 5 minutes ago, the human mind does not forget. What we experience, hear, say, and do are etched in our minds forever. When we forget something, it has more to do with the way that we file information. Like the library book system, if we can file things in an effective manner we can bring back that information when we need it. The point is – you may never be able to forget, but you can choose to not remember. If you continually think about a past hurt or pain that someone caused you, you cannot forgive them. If you choose to control your mind and push those negatives to the back of your mind, you will be able to forgive because you are thinking like God thinks towards you and your sin.

Forgive With Your Mouth. When we control what we say about others, it makes forgiveness more possible. Proverbs 17:9 continues this truth by declaring: “He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth very friends.” Want to destroy a relationship? Go around telling other people everything that other person ever did that was wrong. List their sins; give an account as if you were the one committing the sin. Expose the fact that they are sinners too. You will destroy that relationship. Love does not do that. If we repeat wrongs, not only are our minds wrong, we are changing the mind of others towards another person to think less highly of the one we are speaking about. Marriages, parent/child relationship, and classrooms have all been affected by evil speaking like this. Some people pour kerosene on fires to keep the fire going. Some people pour gasoline. It is hard to pour gasoline on a fire and not get burnt. When we keep talking about other sinners, we are playing with fire and it will come back to hurt us.

Forgive With Your Motive. My first question when someone wants to tell me something negative about another is “What is their motive? Why are they saying this? Usually it is one of two reasons either Pride or Pain. In Pride, they are pointing out that they are better than that person or that “they would never commit that sin.” In Pain, they may be lashing back in a way to strike back or to injure another like they believe they have been injured. Be reminded of Christ that when He was reviled and struck, He did not revile or strike back. When we speak about other people’s sin, we can actually taint their image in the sight of others. Some wives may speak negatively about their husband. When they do so, they are damaging him and destroying their relationships with him. Parents have done this with their children. What tragedy. We must have the motive of restoring people as Galatians 6:1 says, “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.”

Forgive With your Message. Every day you convey something others. We communicate in verbal communication and non-verbal communication. Verbal communication includes everything we say and everything we do not say. While we may not say “I hate you.” By not saying “I love you” some loved ones may not feel loved. The non-verbal’s also speaks volumes. Spending time together shows love, but avoiding time with a spouse or a child does not show love. If there are people you avoid, you may not have really forgiven them. Of course, if there is potential for abuse, you do not want to be around them; it would be best to stay away from a situation like that if there is danger. In a general sense, you convey acceptance or unacceptance to other people with the message of your life. What do you convey intentionally or unintentionally to others? Every day you and I must purpose to be forgiving of others.

Love is Seeks Victory Each Day. The Love of God conquers and is victorious every day. As Romans 8:35-39, emphasis: “Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? As it is written, For thy sake we are killed all the day long; we are accounted as sheep for the slaughter. Nay, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him that loved us. For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Nothing in life can change God’s love for us! What a wonderful truth! Our relationships can win like this as well.

I like the old Gospel song: “Love Found a Way.” It goes like this:

“Wonderful love that rescued me, sunk deep in sin,
Guilty and vile as I could be—no hope within;
When every ray of light had fled, O glorious day!
Raising my soul from out the dead, love found a way.

Love brought my Savior here to die on Calvary,
For such a sinful wretch as I, how can it be?
Love bridged the gulf ’twixt me and Heav’n, taught me to pray,
I am redeemed, set free, forgiv’n, love found a way.

Love opened wide the gates of light to Heav’n’s domain,
Where in eternal power and might Jesus shall reign.
Love lifted me from depths of woe to endless day,
There was no help in earth below; love found a way.

Love found a way, to redeem my soul,
Love found a way, that could make me whole.
Love sent my Lord to the cross of shame,
Love found a way, O praise His holy Name!”

God’s love found a way for our salvation! Love finds a way to win over every obstacle to a healthy relationship. True love will find a way to make your marriage work. Find a way to make that soured relationship work – find a way because of love. Love wins over sin, selfishness, and distractions, past friends, Face book, TV, former fiancés and anything else you can think of. Love wins when communication is silent, when you are not understood, and when things get dicey.

Love sees common ground. Don’t fasten onto the differences you may have; stick to complimentary features. Give compliments instead of complaints. Show consideration instead of criticism. Have compassion instead of coldness.

Love works it out when there is not much in the bank account or when the job is lost and foreclosure is in sight. Love works when feelings are hurt. Love works it out even if the most damaging thing takes place; when trust is lost. Love will find a way to restore trust.

Conclusion: The Bible has many good examples of this selfless love. One such example is the prophet Hosea. Hosea is called of God to marry a girl named Gomer. She is a beautiful woman, a real stunning beauty. There is a problem however: she is unfaithful in their marriage relationship. After starting a family, she runs out and has multiple relationships to make money and to live her own way. Today this is called human trafficking. In Hosea 3, Hosea buys her back. By this point Gomer was a slave in this filthy industry. Hosea 3:2 says, “So I bought her to me for fifteen pieces of silver, and for an homer of barley, and an half homer of barley:” Thirty pieces of silver was the price for a slave in ancient days. Hosea gave all he had to buy her from this life of sin she chose to enter because of selfishness. He did not have enough silver, but he worked hard and had enough grain to make up the difference and he bought his wife back – because of love. He bought her out of slavery and forgives her because of love! He gave everything he had to make their relationship work – because of love.

Ladies and gentlemen; if you are married today or hope to be married one day, decide now that you will do whatever it takes to make your relationship work. Be giving of your love, forgiving in love, and allow love to win in your relationship over everything that could hinder your relationship. Showing love will change your relationships. You and I are to love others like God loves us. Make sure to give a chocolate box with real candy in it. No selfishness or pretenses, just real and giving –then share your lives together.

Music Selection Matters

Music Selection Matters

Proverbs 25:20

Music is a powerful medium, an incredible communicator, and has tremendous influence over the human heart. The music we listen to and present to the Lord is important! I remember an old secular song “Music’s Gonna Get Ya.” This can be very true. Many are caught with music and they do not know what to do. To begin, let us make 4 quick observations about music:

1. Some songs are Good. For example 2 Chronicles 7:6 says: “And the priests waited on their offices: the Levites also with instruments of musick of the LORD, which David the king had made to praise the LORD, because his mercy endureth for ever, when David praised by their ministry; and the priests sounded trumpets before them, and all Israel stood.” Many various and wonderful instruments were played as people sung enthusiastically to the Lord. David was very interested in good music, music that was acceptable to the Lord and encouraging to the human heart.

2. Some songs are Evil. In Daniel 3:15 we discover that many similar instruments were used, but with the evil intention of bowing down to an idol. Some music has evil sounding connotations, violent or wicked tunes, and wrong topics in the words. Look at this verse. “Now if ye be ready that at what time ye hear the sound of the cornet, flute, harp, sackbut, psaltery, and dulcimer, and all kinds of musick, ye fall down and worship the image which I have made; well: but if ye worship not, ye shall be cast the same hour into the midst of a burning fiery furnace; and who is that God that shall deliver you out of my hands?”

3. Some songs celebrate victory. The songbook of early Israel, the Book of Psalms, evidences this. The Songs of Moses and Deborah tell stories in the Old Testament. Songs of testimony are always encouraging and tell tremendous stories.

4. Some songs commemorate sad occasions. Such as Amos 8:10 “And I will turn your feasts into mourning, and all your songs into lamentation…..”

Recently I found the following list on the “Hot 100” – songs at the top of the charts in the world this week (1.9.14) Here are the titles: “Timber, Counting Stars, The Monster, Royals (By Pure Heroin), Say Something, Dark Horse, Let Her Go, Wake Me Up, Wrecking Ball, Demons.”

Just by reading the titles, we can imagine the content, theme, and direction of these songs. The music we listen to has to potential to calm our hearts, or drive our emotion. Songs can glorify the Lord or pull us further away from the Lord. These are the choices made when we decide what songs we will listen to.

With these truths in mind, let us consider the topic of song selection. Our verse is Proverbs 25:20 which says: “As he that taketh away a garment in cold weather, and as vinegar upon nitre, so is he that singeth songs to an heavy heart.”

Here is a terrific verse with great application to the choices we make with music. A lighthearted, useless song (like these similes in the verse), or violently themed songs are what is being described in this text. Nitre was known to make suds fizzle like soda pop. It was used in the carbonation process. This is where the idea of a “violent” reaction comes in with a song. The other simile given is one of taking away a coat from a person when it is -15 out. That is cold! Taking a coat from a person on a cold day is not helpful. It is like singing the wrong song to a hurting heart. Neither a violent song nor a lighthearted song will help someone who is depressed, discouraged, or dealing with a heavy heart.

Singing “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” to a person who just lost a loved one will not help them. To make light of a difficult time by singing a flippant song may not help them; in fact it may offend the hurting people. You will probably not sing “BINGO” at a funeral service. Song selection matters! Choosing appropriate to the occasion music is vital in life and ministry to the Lord. Not every song is appropriate for the Christian to listen to or even sing.

When counseling with people battling depression, anxiety, or discouragement, many times I ask about what kind of music they are listening to. When King Saul had an evil, selfish spirit, David plays something soothing and encouraging on the harp and it changed Saul’s outlook for that day! When I ask many times people will say: “I do not listen to music.” Or they will talk about their favorite songs which are songs that degrade spiritual things and discourage their soul. Some people listen songs that are harmful and wonder why their spirit seems so empty. In many cases, feeding the spirit a positive sound with and meaningful words will change them for the better.

Are you ever distressed? Ever feel overwhelmed with a situation? Do you want music to help you? There is such a thing as music therapy. Music has such potential to guide a person’s thinking and even actions. Please note the following study: “In an eye-opening study, researchers have found that teenagers who listen to songs with raunchy, suggestive lyrics are more likely to lose their purity than those who do not listen to such songs. In 2001, researchers surveyed 1,461 teenagers between the ages of 12 and 17. Most of the participants were virgins at the beginning of the study. Between 2002 and 2004, the researchers carried out follow-up interviews and found that around 51% of teens whose music collection consisted mainly of music that degraded purity lost their purity within two years.” (From Ministry 127)

If we could have two foundational principles for song selection what would they be? Since music is built on the Treble and Bass Cleft, here are two principles to help you decide what music you will listen to or sing.

Joy Based Music. The grinding, pushing the limit tempos of Rock and much country and modern music will weary your soul. The music itself may give adrenaline to the flesh, but will leave you spiritually thirsty. The topic of many modern songs will tempt you to sin or will encourage wrong thinking. Joy based music will lift your spirit. It will gladden your countenance and encourage your soul. Joy based music will be written in a major key. The music itself will not sound dreary, painful, or discouraging. Joy based music delivers a joyful and happy melody and tune that resonates in your heart. It sounds very positive.

Jesus Based Music. This is music that exalts Jesus and magnifies the Lord. This has more to do with the topic of the song than the notes that are being played. Songs about Calvary, the Empty Tomb, Worldwide Missions, Personal Devotion, and the Church of God are all great themes for a piece of music. Jesus based music will teach you to love the Lord, your family, your church and others. Jesus based music will not contradict the Bible, but rather teach the Bible to those who hear it. Observe Colossians 3:16: “Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.” Jesus based songs teach us more of God and His Word.

Does it matter what songs you listen to? Yes it does. Music Selection Matters! May the Lord help us to tune in to these two principles of Joy Based Music and Jesus Based Music. Music can change your life.

Responding to Tough Days

Responding to Tough Days

Isaiah 1:17

Bill was depressed. Many traumatic things started to occur in his life all at once. He had injured someone at work and even though it was an accident, he was let go from the job. His wife was troubled with “empty nest syndrome” and she could not let her children live their own life. She would try to have Bill control their decisions and would constantly talk about them. With his prospects for a job thin, and his wife’s emotional troubles, Bill had had enough. He was not sure what to do, but he needed help. The mornings were hard because there was no real reason to get up and get going. His motivation dropped, his desires for the things of life waned and he was flat out depressed. He could no longer afford the paper and the internet was cut off because of not paying for it. Bill moped around feeling sorry for himself. The zeal and enthusiasm he once had had disappeared. Bill asked the classic questions: “Why? Why me? Why this?” He would come up with self-philosophized answers that soured his outlook. Sometimes he would ask well-meaning friends, who could not really help. Their answers only fed the humanistic nature of Bill as a man and led to a more self-righteous and selfish perspective. Every day, the same cycle of depression increased until the point that Bill no longer wanted to live. What can Bill or someone like Bill do? You know of similar stories.

Every reader of this post will either be discouraged or know someone that is discouraged. Each of us know or will know someone fighting with depression. Perhaps you or I will battle with depression. What should we do in troublesome times? How should we respond when the going gets tough and we do not know what to do?

Isaiah was an Old Testament prophet for the Lord. His name means “salvation of the Lord.” Isaiah was a married man. The people called his wife “prophetess” according to Isaiah 8:3. They had 2 sons who they trained to serve the Lord. He started his preaching ministry during the year that King Uzziah died in Isaiah 6:1 which would be around 739 BC. He preached during reigns of King Jotham, King Ahaz, and King Hezekiah. He was contemporary with the Prophets Amos, Hosea, and Micah. Tradition says that King Manasseh had Isaiah sawed in half. He could be the one “sawn asunder” that Hebrews 11:37 speaks about: “They were stoned, they were sawn asunder, were tempted, were slain with the sword: they wandered about in sheepskins and goatskins; being destitute, afflicted, tormented.” What a tragic time of history Isaiah lived in! Could imagine facing a saw for execution for doing what was right?

For over 50 years Isaiah preached. They were difficult days internationally. Nations could come and go defeating and carrying away the Hebrew people. Civil war between Israel and Judah was commonplace. Wars, fighting, spying, crime, famine, shortages, and other problems connect to international war were the life and times of Isaiah. They were also dangerous days internally. Most problems we face come from our own sinful nature. Many times we are the ones who create the problems we face. It could be because of our lack or faith, the friends we choose, or the focus of our heart. In this case, the people had forsaken the Lord again. The people would swerve back and forth between false gods and the Lord Jehovah God Isaiah delivers a message of judgment and also a message of hope. We find that salvation and deliverance are major themes of this Book of Isaiah.

To a man who could have been depressed, who could have lived a discouraged, defeated life, God gave an answer. We find this helpful answer in Isaiah 1:17 which says: “Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.” When the pressures of life are pressing down on you, the Lord gives us a solution.

Let’s break down this verse and apply the 4 truths we discover in it in our lives.

“Learn to do well.” This is the goal when facing difficult times. We all want to do well, to do right by God, others, and ourselves. We should do well in actions, do well in our thinking, and do well in our talking. The goal is to “do well.” Then we find 4 measurable objectives to help us achieve the goal of “doing well.”

Seek judgment.
Relieve the Oppressed.
Judge the Fatherless.
Plead for the Widow.

Objective #1: “Seek Judgment” is the only point given that has to do with how the individual thinks about himself. Many times people who are depressed will say “I have to work on me for a while.” It sounds noble, but it is only ¼ of the solution. All discouragement comes from some form of selfishness. All selfishness comes from pride. Proverbs 13:10 informs us “Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised is wisdom.” To seek judgment has to do with making a judgment call. It is to make a right choice after perceiving and looking at the situation the right way. Each person dealing with depression MUST see their situation the way God sees it. They must look at their lives with the lens of God’s Word and through the prism of the Holy Spirit. Only then can they identify the pride that may have taken form in their lives in self-pity, self-denial, or plain old selfishness. This is a discipline of self-examination in light of the Lord. “Are things really that bad? Am I overdramatizing the situation?” It may be a truly bad situation, but things could always be worse. No matter what, the Lord is always there to help. Are you seeking God’s perspective on your life?

Objective #2: “Relieving the Oppressed” turns the attention of the individual from self-assessment to assessing and assisting the needs of others. It is answering the question of “How can I help other people?” The ridiculed co-worker needs a friend. The laughed at classmate needs someone to talk to. The loners in the office, the seemingly “backward” individuals on the floor, and the lonely person in a corner all need an advocate. They need someone to help them. That person can and should be you. No longer looking at your situation alone, you can relate your experiences and help others that are being oppressed. Who have you helped in the last month that was being oppressed?

Objective #3: “Judging the Fatherless” is a Hebrew phrased rooted in the word “justice.” When judging the orphaned and abandoned, it is not in a condemning way, but looking at them in a compassionate way. Life has given them a difficult start. A father has not nurtured them or cared for them. The fatherless develop emotionally without knowing the love of a daddy. The warm embrace, pats on the back, and words of affirmation a father would normally give are missing in their lives. Seeing their needs and deficiencies with the eyes of justice will help you choose to do right by them. A person in this case would offer to take a boy to the Father and Son Campout and be a personal mentor to him. A girl and her mother would be asked to enjoy dinner with a “more complete family” comprised of a father and a mother. A leader in the church will teach these children how to pray, how to serve, and how to live in a mentoring type way. There are fatherless children at your church; are you helping and encouraging them each time you see them?

Objective #4: “Pleading for the Widow” is seeing the needs in a widow’s life and trying to meet those needs. She may have chores to be done that are beyond her ability. She may need to have special care as the years increase. A Christian will look to help the widow. 1 Timothy 5:16 says: “If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed.” She may or may not have sons and daughters around to help her. She could really be all alone with no-one to turn to. The Lord gave the widows the church in this situation. Each widow with no-one else should be connected to a local church. Perhaps every church member should have at least one widow they are looking out for. It can be a for sure cure for preventing and curing depression! Who are you ministering to that is a widow?

Conclusion: Notice how ¾ of these objectives have to do with serving other people. This is a great cure for battling depression. When the previously depressed person is focused on these 4 objectives, he will have victory daily to the temptation to become depressed again. To focus on yourself in a moment of depression is a foolish thing to do as Proverbs 26:12 states: “Seest thou a man wise in his own conceit? there is more hope of a fool than of him.” You can have hope today because of the wisdom of the Lord! Respond to tough days by “doing well” according to the Lord’s plan in Isaiah 1:17..

Bill will live to see another day. With Bible counseling such as this in his mind, he can have victory and Bible hope for a bright future serving the Lord on this earth. When focused on serving others, the time and miscalculated attention he was devoting to himself will turn into productivity for others and this will change his sadness into joy. He will discover the satisfaction he had been missing and he will have a fresh motivation for each new day.

Following Jesus in A New Year

Following Jesus in A New Year

And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. Luke 9:23

Peter has just declared that Jesus was “The Christ of God.” Jesus tells them to “tell no man” and that He would suffer many things. Peter and the other disciples did not really understand the suffering of Christ until after His death and resurrection. The next part of this narrative directs us to this verse: “And he said to them all, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.”

Self denial is one of the most difficult things to do as human beings. Recently, our family was treated to a terrific Chinese Buffet. Walk into a Chinese buffet or similar “all you can eat” restaurant and you will see that many Americans struggle with denying self. Denial issues could relate to eating, exercise, music, the friends we have, time in front of a screen, and nearly every area of life. Even things that are not necessarily a sin of themselves can become sin to us when we do not practice moderation and the discipline of self denial.

Taking up the cross includes suffering for Jesus. Some people at work or at school will not love Jesus like you do. Some will persecute you. You may be passed over. The neighbors may not be as kind to you. You may have people threaten you or mock you. Take up this cross, letting others know you are a Christian, no matter what suffering you may encounter. This is to be done daily.

Then Jesus says: “Follow Me.” “Deny self, take up cross,” and “follow me” are great places to begin a new year. Here are a few suggestions to help you follow Christ.

Decisions are about Jesus. A new year’s resolution? Read the Bible in a year? Handout a Gospel tract each week? Accept a new job? Relocate? Become engaged? Get married? What about other spiritual decisions such as confessing sin? Going to the altar during the altar call and making a decision for Christ? How about service in the through the local church? Will you serve in areas you like most or areas that are needed the most? Make all your decisions about Jesus.
Discussions are about Jesus. What will be the topic of our conversations? Will you boast, exude pride about self? Will you speak of personal selfishness? Will you talk about the Lord to others? Will you say how good God has been to you? Could you tell someone about Jesus and His gift of eternal life in this new year? Avoid talking negatively about your local church, pastor, Sunday School teacher or other Christian. They are not perfect, and for that matter neither are you. We are to talk to others about Jesus and talk to the Lord about our “problems.” Be sure to tell people about Christ while at the same time speaking well of His bride – the church. The lost will pick up on dissension in your speaking about other Christians and it will turn them away. Be careful of the words you say and how you say them. If it would be improper to say something in a press conference in prime-time, it would be wrong anytime. Discussing the Lord will help you choose proper words because of the proper topic being Christ.
Dedications are about Jesus. To Whom or to What will you be dedicated to? “Me, myself, and I” is very shallow and humanistic. The “world, the flesh, and the devil”, are other choices for the dedication of your heart, but will leave you in sin leave your heart heartbroken and enslaved to sin. “Money, fame, and getting ahead” are insufficient to bring you true peace and lasting joy. “Following Jesus” is all that really matters. Be dedicated to following the Lord in every area of your life.

Whether the dedication of your heart, the discussion of your mouth, or the decisions of your mind, let’s determine to be followers of Jesus Christ this year. Deny self, carry your cross, and follow Jesus.

Gift Giving

Gift Giving

And when they were come into the house, they saw the young child with Mary his mother, and fell down, and worshipped him: and when they had opened their treasures, they presented unto him gifts; gold, and frankincense, and myrrh. Matthew 2:11

Gift giving has gone on at Christmastime for a long time. In our passage, the wise men bring worthy and timely gifts to Christ and His family. The gold was worthy of a King, the frankincense demonstrated His purity, and the myrrh represented His purpose for coming, to die on the cross. With these gifts, Joseph was able to leave his employment and even leave the country as tyrannical King Herod was killing off all the male babies two years of age and under. The Christ child lived in Egypt for a while before being brought back to Israel as the Old Testament prophesied in Hosea 11:1. With hearts of love, expecting nothing in return, these men gave. The gifts the Wise Men brought were symbolic, meaningful, and beneficial to the Christ child and to His family.

When we give gifts at Christmas time, be sure that you and those in your home are reminded about the significance of gift giving. Every gift that is given is an opportunity to remember the greatest gift – when God sent Christ into this world to bring us the gift of eternal life. As Romans 6:23 instructs: “For the wages of sin is death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.” With thankful hearts, let’s give to each other all the while remembering the greatest gift .

“Unto Us”

“Unto Us”

For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace. Isaiah 6:9

What a beautiful truth to consider during this Christmas season. Jesus came to this world for sinful men like me. He came to this sin-sick earth for you. He came for us! Unto us, Christ was born 2000 years ago. Unto us God’s Son was given! Unto us the Savior entered human history and embarked on His mission to “seek and save that which was lost!” With all the selfish materialism and consumerism of today’s society, one personal note is often overlooked: Jesus came to this world for us! Romans 5:8 tells us the purpose in Jesus coming to this earth: “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” We can praise God that He loved us in spite of our sin. Jesus demonstrated God’s love by coming to earth, living, dying, and then living again – all for us! Unto us, God gave His Son Jesus! Beloved John 3:16 reminds us of this love for us: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” No-one is outside of the “unto us.” He came for the whole world, yet some reject His gift of salvation. Praise the Lord that “whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved!” You can receive the gift of salvation by faith today! With all the “goings on” at this time of year, with every exchange of gifts, remember the whole reason behind it: Unto us, Jesus came, bearing the gift of salvation, so we could be saved.

Away With the Manger

Away With the Manger

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn. Luke 2:7

What a humble birthplace for the King of glory to enter into humanity and to be born into this sin-sick world! A dirty stall, in a cattle feeding trough with hay for bedding! What an incredible God we have! Far away, in a manger, Jesus came into this world for us! Do you enjoy singing the Christmas Carol “Away in A Manger?” I enjoy singing it along with all the other wonderful carols we have.

Today, it seems, the most accurate phrase could be: “Away with the Manger!” Many have attempted and continue to try to remove Christ out of Christmas. Fake substitutes for gift-giving, like a fat man with reindeer is just one example. Anything that diverts our attention from Jesus is a cheap substitute for what Christmas is really all about. People are trying to get “away” from what Christmas is all about!

Praise the Lord there are a few who still know that Christmas is about Christ. When you hear the song: “Away in a Manger” remember the tremendous sacrifice, and incredible love that Jesus has for us. Be encouraged to use the word “Christmas” so people know what special day you are celebrating. Lift up the name of Christ in your conversation as you greet and speak with people this season. Yes, Jesus came – in a manger – the story remains true – He came for us, He came for you!

13 Thankfulness Thoughts for 2013

13 Thankfulness Thoughts for 2013

On this beautiful Thanksgiving morning, I am writing to say to you: “I thank the Lord for you.” We are blessed at the Wilton Baptist Church. The Apostle Paul, led of God, wrote something similar in Ephesians 1:15-19, which says: “Wherefore I also, after I heard of your faith in the Lord Jesus, and love unto all the saints, Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers; That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give unto you the spirit of wisdom and revelation in the knowledge of him: The eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that ye may know what is the hope of his calling, and what the riches of the glory of his inheritance in the saints, And what is the exceeding greatness of his power to us-ward who believe, according to the working of his mighty power…”

13 Thanksgiving Thoughts for 2013. May the Lord help us to have a thankful heart every day.

The Lord and His Salvation.
The Word and His Promises.
Family and Friends.
Church and Sunday School.
Joyful Music and Faithful Fellowship.
A free country and those who protect those freedoms.
Food and harvested blessings.
Warm homes and warm clothing.
The Lord’s guidance and provision for ministry.
The Lord’s servants in US and missionaries abroad.
Safety in traveling and ability to travel.
The resurrection for believers and those who have gone on before us.
The rapture and fact that Christ is coming again!